Here I
am, 31 weeks along in my first pregnancy and laid up on bed rest. As
I lay here I have had way too much time to flip through the “What
to expect when you are expecting” app on my iphone. This app has
been so helpful the past 31 weeks. I was always surprised when I
would experience a new symptom, open my app and it would say “Are
you experiencing (insert new bazaar bodily function) today?” It
was like it KNEW! I would find myself saying out loud, “Well yes I
am!”
However,
NO WHERE on my precious app did it say ANYTHING about being stuck on
bed rest with 9 weeks to go and NO way to keep your sanity. As I lay
here amongst my mounds of undone laundry and a half painted nursery,
I have realized that there are some parts of being pregnant that my
app seemed to skip over or just lightly touch on, leading the poor
unsuspecting, very expecting mother to believe they must just not be
that big of a deal. As I lay here I have realized that there are the
unglamorous parts of pregnancy that excited mothers fail to mention
to their daughters probably in an attempt to assure themselves the
joy of being a grandmother. Because lets be honest, the best birth
control in the world would be complete honesty about the not so
lovely parts of being pregnant.
Now
before I go on let me just say that there are parts of pregnancy I
have LOVED. I am SO excited for our little girl to get here
(hopefully not too soon). I love feeling her little feet pedaling
softly on the inside of my stomach and her little hiccups. It's like
we are sharing secrets all day long. I was always taught the miracle
and sacredness of being a mother but I feel like I am only now
starting to understand it. I write this blog simply as a way of
keeping a journal of sorts of the little adventure this has been and
to warn the unsuspecting soon to be expecting mothers after me of
just a little bit of what may be in store for them. I do still
suggest reading the book (or at least getting the app) What to Expect
when you are Expecting. It really has helped and they get a little
more scientific than I do here.
First
Trimester
What
to expect:
Mood
swings, tender breasts, exhaustion, morning sickness, increased sense
of smell, first doctors visit
What
you DON'T expect:
Let's
talk about these “Mood Swings”. Now if you are anything like me,
I am one who has always taken great pride in “controlling” her
PMS every month when “Aunt Flo” comes to visit. I have always
been able to excuse myself in order to calm down when I know my
emotions are irrational and really just a product of all the
wonderful hormones we women have raging through our bodies. I have
never struggled with “mood swings”. So I was NOT expecting the
horrendous roller coaster of emotion I found myself on just before I
put two and two together and I found out I was expecting. I suddenly
was crying over EVERYTHING. I, very undramatic, level headed Alyssa,
was suddenly BAWLING over everything from watching a cow help her
calf stand up on wobbly knees moments after birth, to the frustration
of not being able to open a can of spaghetti sauce when preparing
dinner.
I
remember one particular night in our kitchen when my wonderful
husband of about 9 months thanked me for dinner, asked how my day was
and I totally lost it. This wonderful man who can't even disagree
with me about the littlest of things because he is worried about ever
making me sad, had no idea what to do but to give me a huge hug and
just hold me while I managed to blurt out between sobs, “I. Don't.
Even. Know. Why. I'm.... Crying!” I know he had the biggest smile
on his face as he got a kick out of his wife totally losing her
sanity and dignity in the kitchen but I finally just stopped fighting
it and enjoyed a good cry, for absolutely no reason at all.
When
it comes to the more accurately described “Mood Cliffs” of
pregnancy, just try to remind yourself that its all these dang
hormones that are ganging up on you and not that lady who just forgot
to cover her mouth when she sneezed in the grocery line, or the
inexperienced teenage driver who just cut that lane change a little
short, and especially not that wonderful man you live with who thinks
you are the most amazing woman in the world. Remember to take
advantage of the non emotion driven moments to remind your husband
how much you love and appreciate his support. Make a conscious
effort to watch and recognize the little things that he does to make
your life easier. My husband is not a star chef and laundry folding
is definitely not his forte. But my car is always well maintained
and the oil is changed on a regular basis. The snow is shoveled and
scraped off my windshield in the morning. And he holds my hand when
we are hanging out with his buddies. Then go do something just for
him (quickly before those evil hormones start convincing you that he
drops his socks on the floor just to spite you) I'm sure it's hard
on them to watch the woman they love totally lose her mind. :)
“Tender”
Breasts. Holy understatement! Have you ever had someone smack you
in the chest? Well get ready, because for the next month or so you
are going to feel like some Jamaican man just used your boobs as a
Congo drum! Poor Shawn couldn't even look at them without me wanting
to smack him and ask him just what the heck he was thinking!
(probably those mood cliffs again...) Here's the unexpected, and if
you have always been quite small in the cleavage department like me,
quite enjoyable part of this pregnancy symptom. Can you say BOOBS!?!
It was AMAZING! I mean despite the feeling that two small grenades
just went off on my chest, I went up almost two bra sizes overnight!
If the soreness keeps you distracted from realizing this pleasant
side effect, fear not! Your husband will notice MUCH faster than he
may notice your new hair cut or fresh nail job. And he will be
FASINATED! The other downer to this is that, like a little kid in a
museum, he will want to explore these new and exciting items despite
the “Do not touch” signs plastered all over the display. Just be
patient with him and remind him you are VERY sore but that in a few
weeks the soreness will subside a little and he can once again enjoy
the “hands on experience”. If he's anything like my husband, his
mind will remain “blown” the ENTIRE 9 months, which makes a girl
feel great when her belly is blowing up like a balloon but the only
thing he comments on is how amazing your chest is.
Exhaustion.
There's actually not too much to say about this one. All I would
say is to note the use of the word EXHAUSTION and not just “unusual
tiredness” or “extreme desire to sleep through the next 100
years”. With all that your body is doing, you will reach a level
of exhaustion that you have never experienced before. I swear there
were days when I wouldn't do anything out of the ordinary, but by the
time the day was over it felt like the nail on my pinky toe was even
exhausted! The important thing here I would say is just not to push
yourself too hard. I'll admit I'm not a wonderful morning person but
once I'm up there's not much sitting around until it's time to go to
sleep again.
At one
of my first Dr's visits I very frustratedly admitted to my Dr. that I
just couldn't do it all anymore without feeling like crap before the
day was over. My Dr. kindly just reminded me that even when I'm not
doing anything my body is doing incredible things! Your body is
forming the placenta and all of your babies vital organs during this
stage so remember to go easy on yourself.
Also,
remember to drink plenty of water! One of the lessons I learned the
hard way is that exhaustion often brings his buddies dehydration and
throbbing headache along for the ride. Don't forget, the list of
medications you can take, ESPECIALLY during this first trimester, is
basically non existent. There is no “pop a few Excedrin to get you
through the rest of the day” solution when you've pushed yourself
too far, so listen to your body and take it down a couple notches if
you need to.
Morning
Sickness. Whoever came up with that label HAD TO have been a man...
This is one of those pregnancy symptoms that is talked and even
laughed about at times and I'm afraid that perhaps this is just one
of those things that you don't grasp the severity of until you have
experienced it, but let me try to shed a little more light. My
little app will tell you that you will experience “nausea” when
you wake up in the morning. Let me translate. When you're eyes pop
open your first thought is no longer, “Wow I slept good last night”
or “What do I need to get done today?” You will now bolt from a
dead sleep with the horrific thought of “I don't think I'm going to
make it to the toilet on time!” My mom suggested to me to keep
crackers by my bed so that I could eat something before I even sat up
in the morning but for me all this did was give me something TO throw
up when I made my mad dash the the porcelain throne. I finally just
decided I would rather dry heave first thing in the morning but to
each their own.
You
will no longer think “What sounds good for breakfast?” but “What
sounds like it would taste best coming back up?” I avoided juices
(they burn on the way back up) and really enjoyed Lipton chicken
noodle soup because the noodles were so tiny it was an easy down and
up without the “chunky” feeling.
And
here's the morning sickness kicker... It doesn't just last through
the morning! When someone asked me to describe my first trimester,
all I could think to say was “Imagine being on the world's WORST
carnival ride all day long and as much as you want to you just can't
get off...” The trick is just to keep trying to eat little snacks
throughout the day. I'm not going to tell you that keeping a full
tummy will necessarily stop this nasty feeling, but I will tell you
that it is DEFINITELY better than trying to gag something down on an
empty stomach.
My
only other word of advice in dealing with morning sickness is to keep
that toilet bowl CLEAN! I mean like a daily once over! Thanks to
your overly sensitive nose (more on that coming up next) as soon as
you take in that first deep breath after you have so gracefully
hurled your little pregnant guts out, if there is ANY smell lingering
around that toilet bowl it is going to send you into a dry heaving
frenzy.
Increased
sense of smell. Welcome to the sensory world of a bloodhound! The
things that snozz of yours is about to pick up will astound and at
many times completely horrify you! Driving in the car one day my
husband passed one of the smallest, most innocent sounding toots I'm
sure a man has ever managed to pass and I thought I was going to die!
I had to have him pull over the car so I could throw up (and trust
me, he and I both SO wish I was joking about this.) This new found
super sniffer combined with your ever present “morning” sickness
makes the world a horrible horrible place. Avoid the seafood section
at the grocery store at ALL costs if you want to avoid making a scene
and stock up on candles.
Another
wonderful result of this terrible duo is food aversions. I remember
preparing chicken for dinner one night and suddenly I was VERY aware
of the smell of raw meat. All at once all of my favorite recipes
were causing me to gag. I finally got to the point where I could
very quickly put together a small meal for my starving husband but
there was NO WAY I was going to be able to choke down that same
dinner. My advice, don't even try! My tricks for dealing with this
phase is to write a menu for your hubby and a corresponding grocery
list. Trust me, if you don't have a list, when you walk into the
grocery store nothing on the planned menu is going to sound like a
possible fate and you will abandon half the things you had planned.
While completing your grocery list keep an eye out for ANYTHING and
EVERYTHING that sounds good to you. No matter how bazaar your
cravings may sound to the unpregnant ear, your body has a weird way
of knowing what is going to work. You've just got to listen and be
brave enough to try it out. One night while preparing dinner for
Shawn on a day when I had barely managed to keep anything down, I
opened a can of cream of chicken soup and it hit me. THAT was what I
needed. I grabbed a spoon and ate half of it straight out of the
can. Shawn just about gagged but it was the only thing to
successfully stay down that day. My other pregnancy cravings were
more “normal”. Grapefruit, clementines, tomato sandwiches, and
roasted vegetables were the most common.
First
Dr's. Visit. Expect a blood draw, urine sample, and at most places
your first ultrasound and/or hearing your babies heartbeat for the
first time.
What I
didn't expect was how long they have you wait before coming in for
the first time. I was almost 13 weeks before my first appointment,
but they usually want to see you sometime between 8-12 weeks. This
is to make sure everything has developed to the point that they can
actually pick up things like a heartbeat and a clear ultrasound
image.
What
you don't expect is how soothing hearing that little rabbit like
heartbeat for the first time is on your frazzled, hormone charged
pregnancy nerves. What you don't expect is how comforting it is to
hear a medical professional tell you that “Yes, you are pregnant
and you aren't completely losing your mind and control of your body”.
And what you don't expect is that breath taking moment when the
ultrasound comes in to focus and for the first time you see what all
the puking and exhaustion has been about. What you may not been
prepared for is the instant love and sense of responsibility you feel
for this plum sized human being. As you watch little arms and legs
stretch and kick what you may not be expecting is how quickly you
will admit to yourself that the last 12 weeks were totally worth that
one moment.
