Pin-plex

The last few months have been SO crazy.  Between our appointments with therapists, specialist, and the pediatrician, not to mention the other hours we spend on our own doing therapy and work on feeding techniques, I assure you this blog isn't the only thing that has been neglected.  I knew having a newborn would be busy as priorities shifted and supporting another life took its tole but this? This is insane.  And I've loved EVERY minuet of it. :) The other day though, while desperately searching for something to make for dinner out of the existing contents of the kitchen (who has time for grocery shopping anyway? Or money for that matter? ;)) I was ambushed by an unexpected enemy.  Pinterest.

This has been talked about and blogged about to death but I had never experienced the motherly complex for myself that this wonderful tool has become known for.  I am calling it, the "Pin-Plex".

There I was, scrolling through my long list of pinned recipes when I noticed my cute little "Kimber" board I started back in my second trimester.  You know, that lovely point of pregnancy when you have the cute little baby bump, are no longer throwing up at every passing molecule, and when you still have it ALL figured out.  I have not been on Pinterest since that surreal stage of motherhood, back when decorating string cheese to look like snow men and applying 7 different oils while standing on your head and singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" backwards in Polish to get rid of stretch marks all seemed very do-able. I slowly scrolled down the page and looked at all my good intentions.  The skirts.  The leggings.  The little DIY baby sandals and hair pieces.  

The anxiety increased as I saw all the things foolish second trimester me had labeled as "important".  The first birthday photo shoot/cake smash.  Would we have the money for that with all the unexpected expenses?! And the little girl in the photo with the cute Mardi Gras beads and tutu is sitting up! With Kimber's medical condition will she be able to sit up at that point?! 

We reached full on "pin-plex" when I came to the monthly "watch me grow photo".  Oh man!  Kimber is now 5 months old!  That's almost half a year!  Ask me how many pictures I have of her with a cute little sign that says how old she is and what milestones she is reaching?!  Ask me what cute little object I chose to put in those pictures with her to get an accurate account for how much she has grown?!  I will never get those months back! What was I thinking?! What kind of mother am I?! 

I took a deep breath and as I frantically sorted through my Kimber pictures to find a common monthly pose or theme that would work that in someway salvage my pathetic attempt at motherhood, the pictures of the last several months answered these questions for me. 

What kind of mother am I?  I am a real mother.

What was I thinking?! I was merely keeping my child alive.  Not knowing how many monthly photos we would have been blessed with (had the thought of monthly photos even had space to enter my mind) we lived the first several months day by day.  Literally.

What cute object have I strategically placed in her photos to show off how quickly she is growing?  How about her tiny little nasal cannula that delivers oxygen to her throughout the night?  Or the pulse-oximeter that has kept track of her little heart beat and taught me how to cue in to her little Kimber signs of discomfort due to her lack of a cry?

So here's my point: I am not anti-Pinterest.  On the contrary, I can pin with the best of them!  My point is, when did Pinterest flip from this cool concept of swapping ideas and recipes, to a check list of all the little things you MUST do to keep up with Momma Jones or you are a failure as a mother?

There is not some magical "pin home" where everything comes together and happy children skip out to school on time, in their perfectly color coordinated outfits, homework folders as neat as the classified folders in the White House, and snowmen string cheese in their totally organic homemade lunches.  There is not some magical "pin-fairy" who somehow grants a mother additional hours in a day so that she can put together 50 freezer meals (to be used ONLY in case of an emergency because she is making all those delicious looking 4 course meals I have pinned all over my "Food" Board).  Nobody's home is "clutter proof" and everyone has days where they sit down and plow through 8 loads of laundry in a day.  To be frank, unless you have the money to hire an additional body, you are going to have strengths and weaknesses, good days and bad days.

I'm not saying that we should all throw in the towel and say "Well it is what it is!  The house will never be clean, the laundry never done, and we will never have a good home cooked meal."  What I am saying is, let's all take a collective deep breath and remember where to draw the line.  If your child is eating three meals a day you get a point!  If you get to wear makeup at SOME point in the day (and who CARES if it's a half hour before your husband gets home or just before going out into the real world) that's a point!  If your home is "organized" enough that your family would be able to make it from your bedroom to the door in the event of a fire, point! (In that moment it really won't matter if the clothes in your closet are color coordinated and divided by season).  If you have time to laugh and smile as a family at the end of the day then you are doing it right!  So let's breathe in deep, crack open a coke (or other beverage of choice), allow ourselves some bad days and remember what matters most.  We are blessed!