I Am a NICU Mom

                                       
Over the last 6 days I have repeated this sentence to myself over and over again.  It's an elite club, and I'm pretty sure each of us have started a blog from the bedside of our tiny infants as a way to cope with the ups and downs that each day brings.

I am a NICU mom.  I clock hours and hours in a small hospital room watching a screen that tells me her tiny heart and lungs are working like they are supposed to because even though it is monotonous to the nursing staff that runs from room to room, each little squiggly line comforts this mother's heart and helps me breathe.

I am a NICU mom.  I have successfully found sleeping positions in what could be one of the most uncomfortable recliners in the world because I'm afraid if I leave I will miss something.

I am a NICU mom.  I live for every three hours when I get to touch my little baby's hands and feet as I take her temperature and change her diaper.

I am a NICU mom.  I wake up every three hours throughout the night to sit in an empty nursery and pump breast milk for a baby who is 20 miles away and gets fed through a tube in her tiny nose.

I am a NICU mom.  I have learned phrases like "bradycardia" and "apnea".  I have watched my little girls heart rate drop, heard the screams of the various monitors, and learned breathe and watch her struggle to correct her tiny body's minor malfunctions.

I am a NICU mom.  I am on a first name basis with all the nurses and see them more often than my own family some days.

I am a NICU mom.  I wake up at 6 every morning just to sit and watch my phone for that call from the doctor to say that there's not much of a change from the day before which always brings on a flow of mixed emotion.

I am a NICU mom. I spend my days and nights in constant prayer and feel the prayers of so many other family members and friends.  I have felt the spirit comfort me in ways I never have felt before.  I spend my days grateful there is someone orchestrating this whole thing and have complete faith and trust in Him.

I am a NICU mom.  I have felt the presence of angles in my princess's room and know that they are coaching her and cheering on our little family.

I am a NICU mom and each day I spend in complete awe of this tiny little miracle and the fighting spirit she has been blessed with.

I am a NICU mom but first and foremost I am a mom.  I want what is best for my little girl and am her biggest cheerleader.  I can't wait to bring her home and show her what a wonderful place this world is.  We have been and continue to be so so blessed.  I am so grateful for the knowledge that families can be together FOREVER.  I am grateful for a wonderful husband who honors the priesthood he bears and uses it to bless our little family.  I am grateful for the great father he is to our Kimber and love the way they both light up when they get in the room together.

I am a NICU mom and I am so blessed!